Youth Speaks by Joannie Malaras
A
Life Transformed
by Joannie Malaras
I
was born in 1991 in Payatas. When I was 5 years old, I started studying in a
non-formal school called Paaralang Pantao (School for Humanity) till I was 14.
My father was unable to work because of arthritis and my mother was a
scavenger. When I was young, my life was simple but happy. My parents were a
loving couple and they loved me so much that I never felt I was poor. My
parents had picnics with us in our small backyard behind our house. My dad told
me many stories about his childhood and stories of God. I had a friend who could
eat anything she liked. She had toys and even a bicycle. Sometimes I felt
envious but still I thought my life was perfect, like a fairytale.
When
I turned 12, my mum asked me to stop schooling. She wanted me to work as a
scavenger to help earn money. Suddenly, I had to think hard and choose what I
really wanted. I could choose the hard life and that’s to be a scavenger or I
could choose the more challenging life and that’s to study. I really wanted to
study so I ignored my mum and continued to study. I never went to a formal
school because we had no money and I had no birth certificate. It’s very hard
to get a birth certificate. At the same time, I really wanted to help my
family. In the end, I decided to work half-day in the dumpsite and to study at
Paaralang Pantao (School for Humanity) in the afternoon.
The
first time I went to the dumpsite, I saw how my mum worked and I thought it was
easy. Before this, my parents never allowed me to go to there. On my first day,
I realised how hard it was for my mum to be working all alone in the hot sun
and flies were everywhere. We collected plastic, plastic cups, bottles and
paper. I worked from 5am to 9am from
Monday to Sunday. I had many wounds from the sickle. I suffered from backache.
I had many cuts on my feet from broken glass even though I wore boots. Every
week we earned about P200 (SGD7). It was
not enough to buy food. So we looked for leftover food (pag-pag) and raw
vegetables from the dumpsite. Pag-Pag is left over food like fried chicken from
restaurants like KFC or Jollibee. I realised that this was what life was really
about. But I was happy because I was working with my mother and sharing the
hard work with her.
When
I was 14, my father had a heart attack and we took him to the hospital. After a
few days he came home without the permission of his doctor. He wanted to see us
and spend time with us, especially my brother as he was too young to go to the
hospital. My father hugged my brother but I did not want to hug my father
because I was afraid. He was so weak. The next day he passed away at home. I was so sad when he died. I felt I wanted to
die too. I was afraid to live without my father. I doubted God and asked Him,
“Why me?” I felt God had abandoned me. After my father died, I stopped
schooling and started working full-time in the dumpsite. At that time, I
stopped hoping. I thought I would never be able to pursue my dream to go to a
formal school.
I
worked full day 5am - 9am and 1pm- 5pm. I had no watch but I knew when it was
time to end the day on the dumpsite – when the sun began to set. The most
beautiful thing in Payatas is the sunset. I can sit atop of the mountain of
garbage and watch the sunset beyond the horizon. Every time I saw the sunset, I
felt that I too could go somewhere one day. I wished I could go some place
outside of Payatas. I was still full of hope.
Sometimes
I wondered what it’s like outside Payatas. When I was in Paaralang Pantao the
thing that was most important to me was the yearly field trip. That was the
only time I went out of Payatas. I got sick every time I got on the bus. I
would throw up all the way to the place and all the way back to Payatas. One
year, the principal asked me not to go because I would get sick. I cried so
much until she let me go.
All
this time, my mother too was sickly and weak. I think she had TB. I was 16
years old when my mother got very sick. We took her to the hospital. She died
at the hospital from lung cancer. I was very sad. Again I asked God, “Why
me?” I was lost and very confused
because we could not pay the funeral expenses of my mother. So we took her body
home with us. I felt all alone but I had to be strong for my brother and
sister. After more than one week, an acts29 staff came and helped us. Acts29
helped me for the funeral of my mother. After the funeral of my mother, the
acts29 staff asked me if I liked to study. I said, “Yes.” So with the help of
acts29, I got my birth certificate processed.
Before
my father died, I had already taken the exam to enter into formal school. I
passed and was accepted into Year 1 High School. So when I got my birth
certificate, I enrolled into high school. Through the scholarship program of
acts29, I had a sponsor for my education.
Ever
since my mother died, I have been living in the acts29 Formation House. I feel
so comfortable and safe in this house. In Payatas, it was not safe because
there were many drug addicts, drunkards and rioting.
Now
that I look back on the struggles I faced, I realise I have become stronger. To
me, God is my protector and my refuge. Also knowing God is more important than
education. In knowing God as my loving father, I learn to love myself and
others. I learn that if I continue to put my trust in God, everything falls
into place. For me, it was to have an education. Being a student is my vocation
now.
My
song to God is:
“Walk
by me, walk by me across the lonely road of everyday.
Take
my arm and let your love show me the way.
Show
the way to live inside your heart,
Lead
me lord. Lead me all my life”
(Lead
Me Lord)
In
the next five years, I want to finish my high school and get into a good
university. I’m not confident that I can but I am willing to work hard and try
my best.
My
message to the kids in Payatas is “Be strong, study hard and believe in God.
Don’t lose hope and don’t lose your way.”
There
are many kids in places like Payatas who face the same struggles as me. You can
help these kids with a feeding program or sponsor their education so they can
go to a formal school.
To
all those who believed in me, who gave me this chance to study and to my
sponsor Kuya Eric, “Thank You! Salamat po!”
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